We recently became acquainted with a woman named Sherry who has a diagnosis of Lewy body dementia. We received her permission to share this plea of hers about considering the experience and emotions of someone with dementia.
Robin
Behavior Changes
Journal entry by Sherry — Oct 25, 2023
I’ve been thinking about something lately: a lot of emphasis is placed on the behavior of someone with a diagnosis of “Dementia…” How it’s frustrating for loved ones/caretakers to deal with changes in behavior of those diagnosed. How to stop/change those behaviors in order to make life less of a burden for said loved ones/caregivers. Fair enough…
BUT…. You are FORGETTING the MOST IMPORTANT PERSON—the one who has been diagnosed!!!
What about us???? Ever given thought to WHY our behavior has changed??? Are we tired? Hungry? Bored? Anxious? Upset? Often times when we seem angry, we may feel upset, and just can’t express that emotion in the moment. Or Maybe we’re tired, and don’t recognize that we need rest.
We need to be treated with compassion and kindness. We do not need to be scolded as if we are children — we ARE adults!!
It is often overlooked that Dementia is a processing issue… our brain does not function on the same level it once did… ( after all, it is an organ that is slowly dying) Dementia isn’t just that “ Grandma can’t find her keys again “ or that Aunt Helen forget to take her medicine, or Uncle Jim doesn’t know cousin Fred anymore…
It affects our ability to concentrate, to perform executive function (pay bills, cook a complicated recipe, remember important dates, etc) to pay attention to detail. It affects visuo spatial function (understanding where our body is in relation to space )
It involves PAIN, INSOMNIA, appetite fluctuations, apathy, depression, FINANCIAL HARDSHIP, loneliness, social isolation…. Sound fun yet??
Please consider ALL OF THESE before you just jump into the thought process of “I need you to STOP!/change that behavior because it makes ME UNCOMFORTABLE!”